MY EXPERIENCES IN CREATING HAPPINESS

Happiness is something already existent within you... Remember this - NO OTHER PERSON, THING OR ACHIEVEMENT CAN EVER GIVE YOU HAPPINESS, IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY FROM WITHIN... Happiness is an INSIDE JOB... INSIDE OF YOU... It is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present...I accept that I’ve spent the better part of my life chasing after happiness. It always seemed like happiness stayed just a wee bit out of my grasp—somewhere in the future I consoled myself... When we are very young we are intrinsically happy... Go look at a child play... He or she laughs / talks to himself and is generally happy... The problem starts when we link our happiness state with something or someone... If you begin to believe that you would be happy if you got good marks, admission into a great college, the love of a beautiful person or a great job,  that actually would be the last time you would be genuinely happy...  On and on these expectations will grow....Every time you reach a goal you aspired for it would seem like the next goal was where true happiness will engulf you..Sadly, this sort of linking achievements with your happiness quotient will affect your personal life as well. I thought, “When I find a great girl, I’ll be truly happy. Wait, to be truly happy, we need to first find an appropriate girl to get married...After getting married while we may feel that married life is great but we still need to have kids to find real joy....Thereafter, we link it to our baby needing to grow up a little so we can really enjoy being with her…” And so on... Never ending !!!! For years, I chased after happiness on this path, not realizing what a futile chase it was...And then, abruptly some catastrophic event jolts you out of your dreams....The futility of chasing after happiness must be realised... I do believe that goals and dreams are important and we should strive to achieve them... But see them more as mile markers in life’s journey, not having much to do with happiness, for you should ALWAYS BE HAPPY... Happiness, it turns out, is something already within us.... We just need to clear up our own clutter to find it...I have tried to write down what I learned on this amazing journey of slowly letting go of some of that clutter in my life...  It’s still a work-in-progress, but I hope my experiences will help to make your journey easier....

1. Remember YOU ARE ALWAYS HAPPY... If you go through phases where you feel unloved or unhappy, please create YOUR OWN HAPPINESS TIME... This is the time when you will ONLY do those things that makes you deliriously happy from within.... Could be anything from reading,  blogging, writing,  painting,  bird watching (yes two legged birds including)..... The only thing that matters is that this time nourishes you..

2. Control your thinking and your own attitude... Remember that the only thing we can truly control is our own attitude and reactions. Once we accept that, we can find happiness right where we are, irrespective of how things turn out, the transformation for me began...

3. Avoid becoming a clone of another person or pleasing everyone... Every time we pretend to be someone, it takes away from us our true selves, and from our place of happiness. It was hard at first to stop trying to please others. Eventually I realized how liberating it was to dare to be myself!

4. Let go of the sense of entitlement.... I often found myself asking “Why me?" when things didn't happen as planned... Did you ever ask this question when things went as you wanted it to ?... It was hard to replace that with “Why not?” After all, everyone gets their share of joys and sorrows; why should I somehow be above it and deserve only the joys?

5.  Been hurt by someome you trusted.... All this does happens in real life, doesn't it... Unless we walk in the shoes of the other, we really don’t know the reason for their behavior. Carrying resentment or anger against others is akin to drinking acid and hoping that the acid will burn the insides of the other person... It will only hurt YOU and delays any repair. I cannot tell you how amazing it’s been to let go of some of the resentment I didn’t even know I’d been carrying for years!

6. Are you guilty of doing something wrong or hurting someone ... On the flip side, if we are the ones who made a mistake, it is time to forgive ourselves and make amends. “I’m sorry. How can I fix it?” can go a long way in starting the healing process.

7. Let go of pride.... Neither apology nor forgiveness is possible without letting go of one's ego or pride. Nor is there room for authentic connection where pride resides. Let it go.

8. If I had simply saved a few rupees in my piggy bank  for every opportunity I squandered in my quest for perfection, I’d actually be a rich man ! Realize that no one can be perfect all the time. That’s what makes us humans. We are quirky. We have flaws. We are beautiful just the way we are.

9. Let go of negativity.... In any given situation we have a choice — look at what’s good and be grateful, or look at what’s wrong and complain. Deliberately adopting the attitude of gratitude literally changed the course of my life.

10. Let go of draining, unhealthy relationships.... We are the average of the people we hang out with, and if they are frequently negative, it becomes hard for us to maintain an attitude of gratitude. It’s been a tough call to distance myself from people in my life who were bringing me down, with their negative energy, but it was necessary to move on.

11.  Somewhere along the way, many of us may think into the notion that the busier we are and the more we achieve, the happier we will be. After crossing the half century mark, I’ve come to realize that busyness does not equal happiness.

12. Let go of the attachment to property, achievements and money... This may sound impractical... All these especially money is definitely good to have, but once our basic needs and savings goals are met, it’s time to evaluate the tradeoff of earning more and more.... Letting go of the need for more properties, material requirements and money just for the sake of it has been a very hard but fulfilling experience for me.

13. Let go of the fear of failure.... Everybody who tries anything worthwhile fails at some point or the other. Failure does not mean we are broken. It simply means we are courageous to dare! Easier said than done, but I’m trying.

14. Let go of the fear of abandonment.... Fundamentally, as human beings we all crave for connection. But when fear of abandonment starts to rule our lives we make very irrational choices. I try to trust that what is meant to be will happen. And no matter how things turn out, we’ll come out of it okay.... Stop comparisons and you will be fine...

15. Let go of expectations.... In the end, the core of all my issues was that I expected things to be a certain way. I expected what a good spouse or a friend ought to act like. I expected my daughter to behave a certain way. I expected how situations should turn out. Heck, I even had fixed expectations of what happiness was! Letting go of expectations has helped everything else start to fall in place... Now let go of deadlines of yesterday and tomorrow.... how can we find true happiness if we are saddled down by the baggage of the past or fear of the future? Once I learned to let go of some of the above, I started to focus deliberately on today and now. Suddenly, music and beauty emerged from what was previously mundane. Is there a better way to find true happiness?... Letting go of something that is ingrained in our minds for years is real tough and hard. In my experience, even when I do manage to let go of something some of the time, at other times, it comes right back. In the end, it’s the journey that matters, right?... REMEMBER NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE... So, what will you let go of today?

STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT CIRCUMSTANCES

What are you waiting for? You are never going to get ideal circumstances. There will always be a reason for further delay. Time is the only resource that you cannot make more of. It slips away before you realize and eventually runs out. The longer you take to get started, the longer it is going to take you to produce the results you desire. John F. Kennedy once said, “There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.” I totally agree with him on this. Yes, taking action on certain issues may be scary. It can be downright terrifying, but it is a lot less scarier than realizing that you’ve run out of time and the opportunity to get what you want is gone. You might be comfortable waiting, but further delay will likely cost you the whole enchilada. Why not just go for it and see what happens... Pushing the Go Button... What is holding you back? Is it fear of failure? Are you afraid that if you slip out of your nice, warm spot on the couch that you may never be able to get back to it? So what !?!...The place where you are right now is overrated anyway. If it is so great, then why are you thinking about something else? Ha! I got you there didn’t I? Trust me. If you stay stuck in your rut, pretty soon you are going to look back and regret being such a wimp. That’s right, I called you a wimp. What gives me the right to confront you in such a direct manner and call you by such a name? Well, I can call you a wimp because I’ve been one myself many, many times. It takes one to know one isn't it !!!. Because I’ve been there, done perhaps the same stupid mistakes, I want to help you anyway that I can to avoid the regrets I’ve experienced. I want to help you to feel the satisfaction and sense of victory that comes from taking confident action toward your goal. I want to help you to stop waiting for the perfect circumstances because those conditions simply don’t exist. This world is far from perfect. Therefore, the perfect time to act is now... So stop any more waiting around and push the go button. Don’t delay another second. There will never be a better time than the present to start demanding from life what you want out of it... The Fallacy of Waiting....A fallacy is a mistaken belief, a failure in reasoning. If you are waiting for exactly the right time to move forward, then you are waiting for an illusion. You simply cannot time everything perfectly. Even if you think things are perfect, there are usually hidden obstacles that you didn’t anticipate. Therefore, it is better to just move forward without further delay. Let me explain further. The reality is that waiting is the biggest problem you face. It is the chasm that stands between you and your desire. Waiting is far riskier than taking action. I’ve lost why, way, way more opportunities due to waiting than I have because my timing wasn’t perfect. You see when an opportunity is gone. It is gone. That’s it. End of story. You simply cannot go back. Rarely and I mean very rarely does an opportunity knock twice. So, if what you want is at the door, you would be better off by answering it. You’d better swing that puppy wide open and see what’s there before it is too late. Once the chance slips by, it will most likely be gone forever (meaning it won’t come back again)... I hope those who read this post get the point that I am making.. On the other hand, let’s assume you act, but your timing isn’t absolutely perfect. In my experience, this just uncovers what were previously unforeseen obstacles. This is to your advantage because once they are out in the open, you can start to deal with them. Plus, now everyone knows your intentions and that usually works to your favor as well. By acting, you start the ball in motion. You put yourself in the position of power. You begin to make things happen. This is far superior to waiting. People will respect that you took the initiative and were assertive enough to step out of the proverbial comfort zone and take a risk. Just for the record, let me state the obvious here. Taking action greatly increases your chance of success over just waiting and watching yet another opportunity slip away. If you act and your chance of success is 50/50, that’s a lot better than continuing to do nothing where your chances are basically nil. Please don’t continue to believe in the fallacy of waiting. It is definitely the most costly path to pursue. I beg you not to let another opportunity slip by . Regret hurts a lot more than failure and for a lot longer. Push the go button now and get more out of your life....

INNER TRANSFORMATION

A longish thought for this morning.. Your Inner Transformation : Recharge yourself simply by the power of your own thoughts.... There is a myth that normal human beings use only 10-20% of the processing power of our mind /brain and the remaining is available for enrichment of our lives...While doing a little reading I came across this message - Do not conform yourself to this age, but be transformed by your mind...One would think the statement above is advice by some modern day proponent of personal development....The fact is that this statement is about two thousand years old and comes from the Bible...
To renew your mind means to restore, regenerate, and change the way you think. In fact, the Spanish version of "Renewal of your mind," is translated to read "Change the way you think."... If you think in a negative manner then change the way you think to be more positive instead...If you are pessimistic, then become more optimistic...If you think of doom, then start thinking more of things that make YOU feel more hopeful, happy and healthy YOUR PERSONAL HABIT.... If all your thoughts are filled with problems, then start thinking of solutions...If all you depend on is what you perceive with your physical senses, then begin to depend on your mental (spiritual) senses...Your spiritual senses have no boundaries of time, space or dimension...This means that you can become aware of an endless amount of information that can be applied to solving problems of all kinds, making your life better and better through time..Learning to use your mind in a new and changed way, a way that depends on the mental senses truly allows you to discern between right and wrong, good and bad, problem or solution, good choices and bad choices....This focused positive perspective to life allows you to live the life of your design, a life that you desire, and one that is your birthright to have...I purposely left out the role of God in this explanation...For most people who believe in God, God represents perfection in power, wisdom and goodness and is one with the Universe from where all things come....God (Universe) responds to OUR thoughts, all thoughts, both positive and negative, and so, it is of great importance that the thoughts you have focus on are only thoughts of what you actually want and only that...This discussion is not unique to just one religious doctrine but to all doctrines that aim to guide those who have ears and want to listen and eyes that want to see towards positive, loving transformation...Your personal transformation does have global effects...As we go, so goes the world, for the world is US. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately begins from our personal transformation...
Buddhism teachings mention that if our thoughts and actions lead to a lessening of negative emotions, then it can safely be adopted and practiced, no matter who originally propounded it.. For in creating greater peace, compassion, and happiness around ourselves, we are making the world a better place... We certainly live in an era of great turmoil. If the teachings that are out there, wherever they come from, help in solving problems, resulting in health, happiness, peace, a greater love for one another and overall success, then you can count on them as true and real..They are worth incorporating in our lives....Maybe it's time to transform our mind with this positive ethos of always focusing on the good; our heart and soul will be follow right there with you.

LOVE IS A MYSTERY

Rarely do I come across a forward which touched me so much; I found this beautiful to the core.... If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself....Remember love is always inside everyone of us...There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart...If you find someone else in love with you and you don’t love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain....How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pain and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.....If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim that love or to assess blame...Simply let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time....Remember that you don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life....Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.  Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can....That is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from within them. ...The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a personal need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.  They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away...Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going...You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying... You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to  leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do...Love always has been and always will remain a mystery. Be glad that it came into your life, even if only for a moment.

WONDERS OF THE WORLD

In a class assignment, the teacher asked the students to write 7 wonders of the world...Though there were some minor disagreements, the following received the most votes:
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet...So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list...The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."...The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."....The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:
1. to see
2. to hear
3. to touch
4. to taste
5. to feel
6. to laugh
7. and to love."
The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop....The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!!...If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the Rich should be dancing on the streets....But only Poor Kids do genuinely laugh and play with gay abandon.....If power ensures security, then top Officials should walk unguarded...But people who live on the roadside feel more secure....If beauty brings ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages....But they generally have the worst relationships....Thats why... Live simply...Walk humbly ... Love genuinely!!...Enjoy your Blessed life 🙏

POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS

In the movie Taare Zameen Par the art teacher tells the rude and cursing father of the dyslexic kid about Solomon Islands... In those islands, the tribals don’t cut down a tree.. They simply surround the tree and curse it for hours every day...Within a few weeks, the tree dries up and dies... Many of us might find that example difficult to believe... We may well ask as to how intangible and invisible thoughts and words kill a tree.! Well,  please read Bruce H. Lipton’s THE BIOLOGY OF BELIEF... This, won’t just help you believe in the Solomon Islands story, but would also make you think a dozen times before saying something demoralizing especially to yourself and the people you love... In this book, Mr. Lipton covers in detail the power of our conscious and subconscious mind..The subconscious mind is millions times more powerful than the conscious mind, and decides most of the things in our lives according to the beliefs it has.... Many times we fail to change an unpleasant habit despite our will-power and consistent efforts...It is because the habit has been so strongly  programmed in our subconscious mind that the efforts made by our conscious mind hardly makes any difference...Conscious Mind is just a shadow of our Unconscious Mind.... So, when the tribals of Solomon Islands curse a tree, they are actually installing negative and harmful beliefs in the tree’s  emotion (yes, trees do have emotions too)..Within few days, those negative emotions becomes a belief & eventually changes the molecular architecture of the tree and kill it from inside....  2500 years ago, when the Buddha said that ‘you are what you think', he was not articulating a random philosophical theory.. Actually he was telling a scientific fact which has now been proved correct by Quantum Physics and Molecular Biology... While reading the book, u will recall how Buddha had talked about subconscious mind and its unfathomable power over our lives... He called it Alay Vigyan which means to store consciousness...This is the part of mind where all our beliefs and experiences are stored; and they dictate our life from there... The book has a special chapter on Conscious Parenting where it talks about the beneficial and harmful effects of what parents say to their children... If you are a parent and you keep cursing your child in the name of constructive criticism, you are installing beliefs in their mind which will keep harming them forever..But if you keep appreciating them in a sincere way, you are installing beliefs in their mind which will help then for their entire life... And also be careful of what you keep saying to yourself... Repetition of words and thoughts is the best way to install a belief in your subconscious mind... If you keep saying you are a loser, don’t be surprised if you become one within a few months or years.. And if you have friends who keep saying such things to you, there is no harm in saying a quick goodbye to them..

POWER OF YOUR OWN THOUGHTS

This is something that I love to repeat and repeat again... The power of your own thoughts is immeasurable... I am sure you have heard that an average human being exercises less than 10% of the power of his brain...Imagine if you can grow the utilsation of your cranial power to 50-60%...Imagine the creativity you will generate... There is always something that you feel that you can do better than anybody else; there is something that makes you feel intense and different. That’s your own talent...We all possess innate abilities and talents. Some of us may have discovered that talent at a very young age...People who consider themselves as failures simply do not make use or leverage their own innate abilities and power of their thoughts...They do not bother to discover, improve and successfully deploy their brain power and talents...They function in the area of their weakness instead of building on their strengths....Remember you are as blessed as every other successful celebrity, athlete, singer on earth...Success is not the birthright of a few people.... It is yours too if you want and desire it... No matter how much money you generate, working at a job where your talent is not utilized, you will remain unhappy and unfulfilled.Your unhappiness is as a result of not using your innate talents and the power of your thoughts... When you fail to use your gift by refusing to put it to work, you do not honor yourself..If you want to honor yourself, start believing in yourself, the power of your own thoughts and developing and deploying your talents. Use them, focus on them, and deploy them creatively.... You will be happy you did...Avoid giving any excuses about your own progress...People who give excuses simply lie to themselves, they lie to every other person,they give an excuse to.Each time you give an excuse, you are telling your own subconscious a lie that actually dehumanizes you... It makes you feel less significant.There is a point you get in life and you realize that every excuse you give determines the amount of failure you will be rewarded with.You can do better than what you are doing, become more, achieve more and change the world!... So believe in yourself.. believe in your talents and grow the power of your own thoughts... Always think positive come what may, to realize the power and benefits of your own powerful thoughts..

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

Dear all posting this beautiful story which has touched and inspired me... A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door...It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man...College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him...Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. 
"Jack, did you hear me?" "Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It' s been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said. 
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him. 
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said. 
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said. 
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said. As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away...The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment...It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly. "What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked..."The box is gone," he said "What box?" Mom asked. "There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was the thing I value most," Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it."Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said..."Anyways, I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."....It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died..Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox."Signature required on a package. No one at home... Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read... Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life."...A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes! Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch....Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover...Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser.".."The thing he valued most ...was ...my time."..Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked. "I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!" 

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away"..Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much that they would die for you. 
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE SPECIAL thinks about you before they go to sleep. 
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. If not for you, someone may not be living. 
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better. 
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look; you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you. 
12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy. 
14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great...Send this message to all the people you care about, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life...for the better..To everyone who read this: "THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME."

CHOOSE YOURSELF

When you think that your life is “falling apart,” it could actually be falling together… for the very first time.  Which is why it feels so uncomfortable.  Consider that what is in front of you may be serving you in valuable ways you don’t even understand right now. People and circumstances will occasionally break you down.  But if you keep your mind focused, your heart open to love, and continue to put one foot in front of the other, you can recover the pieces, rebuild, and come back much stronger and happier than you ever would have been otherwise....I can say all this with confidence for I have dealt with my fair share of adversity over the years too – losing loved ones to illness, financial and business turmoil, etc. – and written a lot about it.  But today, in honour of those  who are struggling with hard times, I want to revisit and discuss seven key actions I have learned to take to find strength when everything seems to be going wrong.

1.  Fully accept the reality of what is....You cannot find peace by avoiding life... Life spins with unexpected changes every hour; so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience it as a beautiful challenge for growth.  Either it will give you what you want or it will teach you what the next step is....Finding peace and happiness in life does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things while remaining calm in your heart....  It’s about letting go of the pictures in your head about how things were “supposed to be.”.....Of course, this isn’t easy – it will be an ongoing struggle.  But it’s infinitely easier than continuing to fight to conform your life to some antiquated delusion.  It’s an infinitely more satisfying journey as well.  When it’s working, when you can detach from those old images, there is peace, there is beauty, and there is happiness....Honestly, life is too short to be spent at war with yourself.  The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations.  Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to happiness.  Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.

2.  Remind yourself that everything in life is temporary....Every time it rains, it does stop raining after a while....  Every time you get hurt, you heal.  After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will go on forever...It won’t...Nothing lasts....So if things are good right now, simply enjoy it.  It may not last forever....If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either.  Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh.  Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile.  Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending.  You get a second chance, every second.  You just have to take it and make the best of it....

3.  Push yourself to take another step, and another, no matter what....After studying the lives of many successful people, I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful people from everyone else is pure perseverance and positivity...  In a culture that seeks quick results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience and perseverance.  Be strong, present and steadfast...The most beautiful smiles are usually the ones that struggled through tears. Because breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs in the end.  Every mistake, heartbreak and loss contains its own solution, its own subtle lesson on how to improve your performance and outcome next time.  Thus, the most reliable way to predict the future is to create it yourself.  Participate in life today instead of just watching it pass you by.  Don’t let the few things that are out of your control interfere with the infinite assortment of things you can control....The truth is we all lose sometimes.  The greater truth is that no single loss ever defines us...Learn from your trials... Grow wiser...Press on...In the end, good things don’t come to those who wait; good things come to those who are patient… while working hard, through good times and bad, for what they want most in life.  It’s about courage.  It’s about being scared to death and then taking the next step anyway.

4.  Use positivity, rather than letting negativity use you....There may not be an obvious reason to be positive today, but you don’t need a reason...Being positive should be your personal strategy, not a response....The most powerful time to be positive is precisely when everything around you is not so positive....Happiness in the long run is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.  Raise your awareness to your own inner strength and positivity.  You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life.  You can either give negativity power over your life, or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems today....In other words, don’t wait for a reason to be positive.  Choose to be positive about your situation, about your possibilities, and about what you can do to move forward from here.  Instead of looking for reasons to be positive, look for ways to express your positive vision...Work to make your life resonate with that vision, and enjoy all the rewarding outcomes you create....

5.  Focus on making tiny fixes....Don’t build mountains in your mind...Don’t try to conquer the world all at once... When you seek instant gratification (big, quick fixes) you make life unnecessarily painful and frustrating....When you choose instead to treat each moment as an opportunity to make a tiny, positive investment in yourself, the rewards come naturally....When everything is broken, it’s easy to find plenty of little things you can fix.  When nothing seems to be going right, even the most fundamental positive effort can make a significant difference.  Times of great adversity are also times of great opportunity.  When there are problems in every direction, there is also great value waiting to be created.  When everything is going well, it’s easy to get lulled into a routine of complacency.  It’s easy to forget how incredibly capable and resourceful you can be.  Resolve to persevere by making tiny fixes every day.  It’s these minor tweaks that take you from where you are to where you want to be in the long run.....Small steps, little leaps, and tiny fixes (very small repetitive changes) every day will get you there, through thick and thin.

6.  Look for something small to appreciate in every situation and every person.... You may not have what you want, and you may be very hurt, but you still have more than enough to appreciate right now.  Epicurus once said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”  Meditate on this quote when life seems unfair....Remember that being positive in a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of strength.  You’re doing it right when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.  So don’t pray for the big miracles and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, simple, and yet not-so-small gifts in your life.  It may seem strange to feel thankful for those events in your life that appear to be ordinary, yet it’s precisely by being thankful that you can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary....Think about it: What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?... Think of all the beauty that still remains around you, notice it and smile.... At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy.  Showing appreciation for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is.

7.  Give yourself the extra attention you need and deserve....Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not serve you.  It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, fits of anger and bouts of deep, dark depression.  Anyone who’s experienced any of the above knows that these states of mind are horrifically unhealthy… and when you’re in the habit of self-neglect, it’s near impossible to escape.... You have to admit, to a certain extent, that you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself.  Trying to become smaller.  Quieter.  Less sensitive.  Less opinionated.  Less needy.  Less YOU.  Because you didn’t want to be too much or push people away.  You wanted to fit in.  You wanted people to like you.  You wanted to make a good impression.  You wanted to be wanted.... So for years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy.  And for years, you suffered.... But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re done shrinking.  Right?  Good!.. It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being.  You are worthwhile.  Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter.  Your thoughts matter.  Your feelings matter.  Your voice matters.  And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and live your truth.  Even if it makes people turn their heads.  Even if it makes them uncomfortable.  Even if they choose to leave.... Refuse to shrink.  Choose to take up lot of space in your own life.  Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs.  Choose to honor your feelings and emotions.  Choose to make self-care a top priority… Choose yourself! 

Afterthoughts.... I can tell you from my own life experience that life is a wild ride.  I’ve found happiness, lost it, found it, lost it and then I found it once again.... But each time what I found was more incredible than the last.... So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point.  Everyone feels lost sometimes.  The key is using your experiences to grow, inch by inch.  When you apply what you’re learning to your future choices and actions, you move forward not backward.  You become stronger and wiser.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the end.

THE ELIXIR OF LIFE

Wishing you days of immense beauty filled with immeasurable happiness... Please remember that your life of purpose, the talent to reach your destiny and the elixir of unconditional love and happiness already exists within you... Unfortunately most of us go around searching for and expecting someone else to inspire us, encourage or love us... When we do not receive these gifts ALWAYS, we consider ourselves unfortunate and what have you... Who can love you more unconditionally, more intensely, than YOU, YOURSELF..... Nothing can give you greater happiness than the gifts you are blessed with or your own positive energy levels... Please remember that this is eternal and is not dependent on someone else and their mood swings.... So enrich yourself by immersing yourself in the pond of love and happiness that already resides within you... You will be pleasantly surprised by the infusion of positive energy this elixir of life will give you

PERFECT MOMENTS

Wishes to the beautiful YOU....Nothing is permanently perfect in OUR LIFE, unless WE MAKE IT SO.....But there are and will be perfectly beautiful moments which always brings a smile on your lips, makes your heart beat faster and inspires you to even greater heights of achievement....It is for YOU to choose to focus attention on those that bring even more perfect moments in your life..... You can be a grouch and constantly focus on things that have gone wrong and invite even more negativity in your thoughts and deeds or you can display that you are made of sterner stuff inside and use difficult times as wonderful experiences to climb to even greater heights.... Even in your most difficult moments PLEASE SMILE bright, for it makes life indeed worth living....Your positive spirit should be like the shining lighthouse in the midst of a devastating storm, stoic and reassuring with its presence... THE PERFECT MOMENTS ARE ALWAYS THERE IN OUR LIVES, IF WE SIMPLY BELIEVE THEY ARE MEANT TO BE....Wishing you a wonderful life FILLED WITH THE MOST PERFECT OF MOMENTS

CELEBRATE GROWING YOUNGER

I am in the 7%.... This is a message we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!... The message is credited to a 90 year old lady from the US....To celebrate growing younger, I once wrote few lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written....

1..Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick... Your friends and family will.
4. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
5. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
6. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
7. Make peace with your past so it won't mess up the present.
8. Don't compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.
9. Take a deep breath every now and then. It calms the mind.
10. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
11. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
12. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
13. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
14. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
17. Always choose life.
18. Forgive others and yourself.
19. What other people think of you is none of your business.
20. Time heals almost everything. Give time a little time.
21. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
22. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
23. Believe in miracles.
24. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
25. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
26. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.
27. Your children get only one childhood.
28. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
29. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
30. Envy is waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need.
31. The best is yet to come...
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

It is estimated that 93% won't share this. If you are one of the 7% who will, share this with the title 'I'm in the 7%.... Friends are the real family and family is best friends that you choose.... Its worth reading again & again, as & when you can.😊

A FATHER'S LETTERS TO HIS SON

This is a truly touching story written and I thought of sharing it: 'Death is always a surprise. No one expects it... Not even terminal patients think they are going to die in a day or two.. We are never ready...  It is never the right time. By the time it comes, you will not have done all the things that we wanted to... The end always comes as a surprise, and it’s a tearful moment for widows and a bore for the children who don’t really understand what a funeral is..It was no different with my father. In fact, his death was even more unexpected. He was gone when he was just 27... The same age that claimed the lives of several famous musicians. He was young. Way too young. My father was not a musician and neither a famous person. Cancer doesn’t pick its victims. He was gone when I was young, and I learned what a funeral was because of him... I was 8 and half, old enough to miss him for a lifetime... Had he died before, I wouldn’t have memories. I would feel no pain. But I wouldn’t have had a father in my life. And I had a father... I had a father who was both firm and fun.... He was someone who would tell a joke before grounding me. That way, I wouldn’t feel so bad... Someone who kissed me on my forehead before I went to sleep.. A habit which I passed on to my children... A father like that is someone to be missed... He never told me he was going to die.. Even when he was lying on a hospital bed with tubes all over him, he didn’t say a word. My father made plans for the next year even though he knew he wouldn’t be around in the next month. Next year, we would go fishing, we would travel, we would visit places we’ve never been. Next year would be an amazing year. We lived the same dream.. I believe - actually I’m sure — he thought this would bring luck. He was a superstitious man. Thinking about the future was the way he found to keep hope alive... He made me laugh until the very end. He knew about it... He simply didn’t tell me. He didn’t see me crying... And suddenly, the next year was over before it even started.. My mother picked me at school and we went to the hospital... I hated you, dad. I felt betrayed. I screamed with anger in the hospital, until I realized my father was not around to ground me. I cried... Then, my father was once again a father to me. With a shoe box under her arm, a nurse came by to comfort me. The box was full of sealed envelopes, with sentences where the address should be. I couldn’t understand exactly what was going on. The nurse then handed me a letter. The only letter that was out of the box... Your dad asked me to give you this letter. He spent the whole week writing these, and he wants you to read it... Be strong the nurse said, holding me... The envelope read 'When I’m gone’... I opened it. Son, if you’re reading this, I’m dead. I’m sorry... I knew I was going to die... I didn’t want to tell you what was going to happen, I didn’t want to see you crying... Well, it looks like I’ve made it.... I think that a man who’s about to die has the right to act a little bit selfish.... Well as you can see, I still have a lot to teach you. After all, you don’t know crap about anything.. So I wrote these letters for you. You must not open them before the right moment, OK? This is our deal... I love you..Take care of your mom. You’re the man of the house now... Love, dad.. He made me stop crying with his bad handwriting. Printing was not easy back then. His ugly writing, which I barely understood, made me feel calm. It made me smile. That’s how my father did things...That box became the most important thing in  the world for me... I told my mother not to open it. Those letters were mine & no one else could read them....I knew all the life moments written on the envelopes by heart.. But it took a while for these moments to happen. And I forgot about it..Seven years later, after we moved to a new place, I had no idea where I put the box. I couldn’t remember it. And when we don’t remember something, we don’t care about it...If something gets lost in your memory, it doesn’t mean you lost it... It simply doesn’t exist anymore. It’s like change in the pockets of your trousers...And so it happened...My teenage years and my mother’s new boyfriend triggered what my father had anticipated a long time before... My mother had several boyfriends, and I always understood it. She never married again. I don’t know why, but I like to believe that my father had been the love of her life. This boyfriend, however, was worthless. I thought she was humiliating herself by dating him. He had no respect for her. She deserved something a lot better than a guy she met at a bar. I still remember the slap she gave me after I pronounced the word “bitch". I’ll admit that I deserved it... At the time, when my skin was still burning from the slap, I remembered the box and a  specific letter, which read 'When you have the worst fight ever with your mom'..I ransacked my room looking for it, which earned me another slap in the face... I found the box inside a suitcase lying on  top of the wardrobe..I looked through the letters, and realized that I had forgotten to open 'When you have your first kiss’..I hated myself for doing that, and I decided that would be the next letter I’d open...'When you lose your virginty’ came right next in the pack, a letter I was hoping to open really soon. Eventually I found what I was looking for..Now apologize to her..I don’t know why you’re fighting and I don’t know who’s right. But I know your mother.. So a humble apology is the best way to get over this. I’m talking about a down-on-your-knees apology.. She’s your mother, kid. She loves you more than anything in this world. Do you know that she went through natural birth because someone told her that it would be the best for you? Have you ever seen a woman giving birth? Do you need a bigger proof of love than that? Apologize. She’ll forgive you.. Love, Dad... My father was not a great writer, he was just a bank clerk. But his words had a great impact on me.. They were words that carried more wisdom than all of my 15 yrs of age at the time..I rushed to my moms room and opened the door. I was crying when she turned her head to look me in  the eye.. She was also crying. I don’t remember what she yelled at me.. "What do you want?" What I do remember is that I walked towards her holding the letter my father wrote...I held her in my arms, while my hands crumpled the old paper. She hugged me, and we both stood in silence. My fathers letter made her laugh a few minutes later.. We made peace and talked a little about him. She told me about some of his most eccentric habits, such as eating salami with strawberries... Somehow, I felt he was sitting right next to us... Me, my mother and a piece of my father, a piece he left for us, on a piece of paper.. It felt good...It didn’t take long before I read 'When you lose your virginity’: Congratulations, son. Don’t worry, it gets better with time.. It always sucks the first time. Mine happened with a prostitute.. My biggest fear is that you’d ask your mother what virginity is after reading this letter...Love, Dad.. My father followed me through my entire life. He was with me, even though he was not near me. His words did what no one else could: they gave me the strength to overcome  challenging times in my life. He would always find a way to put a smile on my face when things looked grim, or clear my mind during angry moments... 'When you get married’ made me feel very emotional. But not so much as 'When you become a father' Now you’ll understand what real love is, son. You’ll realize how much you love her, but real love is something you’ll feel for this little thing over there. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl...Have fun. It’s a great thing. Time is gonna fly now, so make sure you are around.. Never miss a moment they never come back. Change diapers, bathe the baby, be a role model to this child. I think you have what it takes to be an  amazing father like me.. The most painful letter I read in my entire life was also the shortest letter my father wrote. While he wrote those four words, I believe he suffered just as much as I did living through that moment It took a while, but eventually I had to open ’When your mother is gone’: She is mine now...It was the only letter that didn’t make me smile, but I could see the reason.. I always kept the deal I made with my father... I never read letters before their time...I would always wait for the next moment, the next letter. The next lesson my dad would teach me. It’s amazing what a 27-year-old man can teach to an 85-year-old like me. Now that I am lying on a hospital bed, thanks to cancer.. I run my  fingers on the faded paper of the only letter I didn’t open... The sentence  'When your time comes’ is barely visible on the envelope..I  don’t want to open it. I take a deep breath, opening the envelope.. Hello, son. I hope you’re an old man now... You know this letter was the easiest to write, and the first I wrote...It was the letter that set me free from the pain of losing you. I think your mind becomes clearer when you’re this close to the end. In my last days alive I thought about the life I had.. I had a very short yet a very happy life..I was your father and the husband of your mother. What else could I ask for?..It gave me peace of mind. Now you do the same...My advice for you: Never ever be afraid.. Always stay positive and focussed and you would never go wrong....

YOUR BASIC NATURE IS ONE OF UNCONDITIONAL HAPPINESS

Your basic nature is of one of Unconditional Happiness... You cannot create happiness; you can only reveal the happiness that is already inside of you.. It has been reasoned that you cannot add space to a room if it is cluttered with junk; you can only remove the junk... Only when you transcend "mental clutter" can you find the underlying presence .. You transcend mental clutter by becoming aware of your subconscious thinking and learning to consistently bridge back from your attachments and aversions to presence and unconditional happiness... You should not stake your happiness on the actions of the world, because when you try that, the thing you create lasts for a while and then dies, disappears or degenerates.  That is the nature of all matter in the Universe.  It is constantly changing.  This does not mean you should not bother to create wonderful things in the world as you dedicate yourself to your unconditional happiness!  It simply means to create without craving or attachment.  Enjoy your life and create from your heart doing what you love... Nothing but good can come of that...

YOU ARE INDEED A MASTERPIECE - THE BEST EVER

*YOU ARE INDEED A MASTERPIECE.. THE BEST EVER !!*.... A plum once said, ‘just bcos a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana...Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple but he went in search of grapes..Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no longer know who I really am...How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.’...Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think the best about yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate...Never ever stoop down in order to gain recognition...Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest Glory – your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as YOU is not Your world...There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king /queen by just being yourself... Find that world… In fact, that world will find You...What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot...The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted... Every thing and every body has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a special purpose that only we can fulfill only by being our own unique self... You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose.  You are here to be you… Just YOU...There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; A time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent...There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be....In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like *YOU* and to the infinity of time to come, there will be no one like you.  Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated.. *You are original*.. *You are rare...You are unique...You are a real wonder... You are THE REAL MASTERPIECE*..Your  Master’s piece...Celebrate everyday with your *UNIQUENESS*

YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF YOUR INNER HAPPINESS

Believe that YOU, Yes YOU, YOURSELF are the source of YOUR OWN INNER HAPPINESS.... YOUR OWN PERSONAL DECISION, to look for happiness in every little thing you experience. A mindset of finding ways to be grateful for who you are, what you already have, and what you can do for others is the process to finding greater happiness and in finding pleasure in making others happy...Learn to appreciate other people just as they are, nature and, if like me, your faith in God. But whatever your beliefs in faith or science are, most would agree that as humans we all need to feel good, in our minds and hearts, about ourselves first and then the world around us, in order to reach our full potential....We can all take this journey of transformation, finding new ways to be grateful every single day..We can all do this, for it’s certainly not so hard. Start making a list every evening of all the things you could or should be grateful for. Write them down, keep a special book to write them in. That way you can remind yourself of all the good things in life, that we often take for granted, or forget... Remember you are of value to the world...Write down all the things you do for others, all the times people thank you for your kindness...You are valuable to your world, but you can so often forget this...You do make a difference: When you say a few kind words to another person..; When you smile at someone..;When you do things for others..;When you show gratitude...;When you volunteer for charities...;When you give or donate gifts or money to good causes...;You are of value in so many areas of life that the list is endless...When you focus on these things, you learn how to feel good about yourself. You learn to feel your inner happiness...Being happy isn’t about being wealthy, or being famous, it’s about love and value... Feel happy for others, as well as yourself...Recognise what you can be happy and grateful for...You just need to decide and learn the mindset of YOUR inner happiness. Do it daily and make it a habit...It’s a wonderful journey that can lead you to THE ELIXIR OF UNCONDITIONAL HAPPINESS.

YOUR FANTASTIC LIFE IS A MANIFESTATION OF YOUR FOCUS

We’re here for such a short period of time...So please live each moment so deliriously happy that nothing else matters.... Have the best time ever....Do your best. Let it all come ripping right through you.....I started thinking about really living up life more and more, and the concept that the more you do, more opportunities open up to you is actually true....You may ask me do more of what?... Doing more does mean different things to different people, but at its core it’s all about stretching, learning, expanding and experiencing new things in your life...You may ask - My life is so hectic that I have absolutely no time for myself... This is exactly my point... Please avoid cluttering up your life taking on things which you cannot invest in... Focus on your work, but PLEASE CREATE TIME FOR YOURSELF... time that I believe should be invested ONLY IN YOU and in things you genuinely love doing... whatever that means to you.... nothing else matters except how much you enjoy doing it... be it bird watching (including the two legged buxom variety) to painting to reading to journal writing... it should be just your own self rejuvenating habit.... My feeling is that when you make an effort to try out new things, especially things you have always love and wanted to do and never found the time for, it not just expands your life experiences... but  the universe sees that you’re open and ready for more awesome opportunities, and these very opportunities actually rush to happen....YOUR FANTASTIC LIFE IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF YOUR FOCUS - no one else's... So please just don't allow the logical part of your brain to convince you otherwise... To your own fantastic, refreshing opportunity filled life of meaning created by YOU... My best wishes

START LIVING

You start living your life easier and create a beautiful world around you, if you begin to travel and explore your Universe..You must learn to create a habit of reading to broaden your horizons and perspective..If you stop by to listen to the sounds of life you begin to appreciate the environment, and yourself...This boosts your own self-esteem and makes you one with your Universe....Make it your primary mission to help others less fortunate than you...Never become a slave to your habits by walking everyday on the same beaten path… Change your routine and explore newer horizons.. wear different colours and feel that passion course through your veins...Learn the right lessons from your turbulent past and the emotions which still make your eyes glisten and your heart beat fast... Take risks, if your dreams desire you to conquer...Run after your dreams and make your life indeed creative,  beautiful and special....

RED LIPSTICK AN ARTICLE BY TWINKLE KHANNA

Red Lipstick by Twinkle Khanna.. My grandmother is 77. She has perfectly coloured hair with not a root in sight, her nails artfully manicured and her clothes always immaculate. I tease her about her interest in all these superficial things and she exclaims that I, in my dal-stained jeans, have always been a total disgrace to the family. Every Friday, she goes for her prayers in the prettiest cotton saris with a string of pearls around her neck..What is so extraordinary about her story, you may wonder?... She is a woman who has seen three out of her four children die before her very eyes..Sometimes I think the joy she gets from her little indulgences is what keeps her going and distracts her from the anguish she must have gone through seeing what she has..My childhood friends - two sisters lost their mother a few years ago.When I went for the prayer meeting, I was slightly taken aback to see them wearing lot of makeup. I may have judged them if I had not known how much they loved their mother and how devastated they were at her demise. Maybe this was their way of getting through this terrible day, a mask to keep everything together..Maybe their mom who I had never seen without a large bright bindi on her forehead, would be the only one who understood.. My friend recently separated from her husband. She now lives alone with her young daughter, goes to the gym every single day and is looking like a million bucks..Her wardrobe has changed dramatically from kurtas to pretty dresses. Every once in a while, we catch up for coffee and each time I see her, she seems to look leaner, fitter and happier...A family friend is in the hospital dealing with cancer for a while now and though she is lucky to have tremendous family support, only she knows what it is like to deal with fear and pain on a daily basis...She sits in her hospital bed in her pajamas, with a turban jauntily perched on her head. And on her lips, she is wearing the brightest, happiest red lipstick. When I ask her about it, she says that whenever she feels low and run down, she puts on her lipstick and it just cheers her up tremendously.. A pretty dress, a new haircut, a string of pearls are all trivial material things that should not matter because they have nothing to do with our inner self, but we forget that our physical form is strongly connected to our identity. It is how we interact with the world around us...When my family friend puts on her red lipstick, she is telling the world that she still has HOPE..There is no one of us who doesn't experience problems in life... Never allow them to drag you down.... Sometimes, the only thing you have left is hope. Hope that every tomorrow of yours is more special than yesterday..

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

Impressive interpretation of an epic... For Leisurely Understanding of the Philosophy of Life....Sanjay , was finally there, at Kurukshetra, the ground where the great war of Mahabharata was fought...He also knew that it was not possible till he went to the spot where the greatest war took place...It is said in texts that eighty percent of the fighting male population of the civilization was wiped out in the eighteen days of the war...He looked around and wondered if the war really happened, if the ground beneath him had soaked all that blood, if the great Pandavas and Krishna stood where he stood...“You will never know the truth about that!” said an aging soft voice...Sanjay turned around to find an old man in saffron robes appearing out of a column of dust. “I know you are here to find out about the Kurukshetra war, but you cannot know about that war till you know what the real war is all about.” the old man said enigmatically..“What do you mean?”...Sanjay instantly knew that he was in the presence of someone who knew more about the war than any living person he had ever met... "TheMahabharata is an Epic, a ballad, perhaps a reality but definitely a philosophy.”..The Old man smiled luring Dev into more questions...“Can you tell me what the philosophy is then?”...Sanjay requested."Sure. here goes,” began the Old man...“The Pandavas are nothing but your five senses, sight, smell, taste, touch and sound and do you know what the Kauravas are?” he asked narrowing his eyes...Sanjay shook his head...“The Kauravas are the hundred vices that attack your senses everyday... You can fight them but do you know how?”...Sanjay shook his head again...“When Krishna rides your chariot!”..The Old man smiled brighter and Sanjay gasped at that gem of insight...“Krishna is your inner voice, your soul, your guiding light and if you let your life in his hands you have nothing to worry.”...Sanjay was stupefied but came around quickly with another question...“Then why are Dronacharya and Bhishma fighting for the Kauravas, if they are vices?”... The Old man nodded, sadder for the question....“It just means that as you grow up your perception of your elders change..The elders whom you thought were perfect in your growing up years are not all that perfect. They have faults.  And one day you will have to decide if they are for your good or your bad. Then you may also realize that you may have to fight them for the greater good. It is the hardest part of growing up and that is why the Geeta is so important.”..Sanjay slumped down on the ground, not because he was tired but because he could understand and was struck by  the enormity of it all... “What about Karna?” he whispered...“Ah!” said the Old man. “You have saved the best for the last. Karna is the brother to your senses, he is desire, he is a part of you but stands with the vices. He feels wronged and makes excuses for being with the vices as your desire does all the time.. Does your desire not give you excuses to embrace vices?”...Sanjay nodded silently..He looked at the ground consumed with a million thoughts, trying to put everything together.. when he looked up the Old man was gone..He seemed to have disappeared into a column of dust... Leaving behind the greatest philosophy of Life .

THINKING POSITIVE

Thinking positive is a key ingredient that helps in transforming our daily life, making things flow smoothly... A positive attitude helps make life more bright and promising...Positive thinking is also contagious...People around you pick up your positive energy... Thinking about happiness, good health and success within yourself , and you will cause people to like you and desire to help you, because they enjoy the vibrations that a positive mind emits...In order to make positive thinking yield results, you need to develop a positive attitude toward every single event in life and expect a successful outcome of whatever you do...Effective positive thinking that brings results is much more than just repeating a few positive words, or telling yourself that everything is going to be all right...It has to be your predominant mental attitude. It is not enough to think positively for a few moments, and then let fears and lack of belief enter your mind..A lot of inner effort is necessary... Always use only positive words while thinking and conversing.... Use words such as, 'I can', 'I will', 'it is possible', 'it can be done', etc. thought...In your conversation, use words that bring forth feelings and mental images of strength, positive energy, unlimited happiness and success. ..Allow only feelings of happiness, strength and success into your awareness domain..Disregard and ignore negative thoughts...Refuse to allow such thoughts to persist, by substituting them with constructive, happy thoughts..Every time a negative thought finds its way into your mind, immediately replace it with a positive one...Before starting out on your day, visualize clearly in your mind its successful outcome...If you visualize with concentration and faith, you will be amazed at the results...Read at least one page of an inspiring text every day...Watch programmes that make you feel happy...Minimize the time you listen to negative news and read the newspapers..Associate yourself with people who think positively...Always sit and walk with your back straight..This will strengthen your confidence and inner strength.. Engage in refreshing physical activity. This helps to develop a more positive attitude... To you experiencing the happier, healthier and positive YOU

LIFE IS ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL

Good morning...Wishing you a fantastic day where you feel overwhelmed with love, kindness, unconditional joy and happiness in everything you see, do or experience.... Remember always that you can never be defeated in anything you do, unless you defeat yourself in your own mind and thoughts.... making it awesome lies in YOUR OWN MIND & HANDS... Never expect someone else to make life good for you... the mind is YOURS....You have the option to brood - constantly thinking of what's going wrong, how people and life have been unfair to you...You also have the option to believe that LIFE IS ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, anything lesser than beautiful is an experience for you to realize how beautiful your life has been... for you to extract the right lessons from less than beautiful experiences... and to forget about what people think of you... since what you think of yourself is more important...So believe in yourself and your own personal power to make your own life purposeful and scintillating....

LIVE AND LOVE EVERY MOMENT

Life is indeed so transient.... We’re here for such a short period of time...So please live each moment so deliriously happy that nothing else matters.... Have the best time ever....Do your best. Let it all come ripping right through you.....I started thinking about really living up life more and more, and the concept that the more you do, more opportunities open up to you is actually true....You may ask me do more of what?... Doing more does mean different things to different people, but at its core it’s all about stretching, learning, expanding and experiencing new things in your life...You may ask - My life is so hectic that I have absolutely no time for myself... This is exactly my point... Please avoid cluttering up your life taking on things which you cannot invest in... Focus on your work, but create time for yourself... time that I believe should be invested ONLY IN YOU and in things you genuinely love doing... whatever that means to you.... nothing else matters except how much you enjoy doing it... be it bird watching to painting to reading to journal writing... it should be just your own self rejuvenating habit.... My feeling is that when you make an effort to try out new things, especially things you have always loved and wanted to do and never found the time for, it not just expands your life experiences... but  the universe sees that you’re open and ready for more awesome opportunities, and these very opportunities actually rush to happen....YOUR FANTASTIC LIFE IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF YOUR FOCUS - no one else's... So please just don't allow the logical part of your brain to convince you otherwise... To your own fantastic, refreshing opportunity filled life of meaning created by YOU... My best wishes

YOUR INNER SUBLIME GREATNESS

Experience your life in all its true colours and not merely as an illusion which prevents you from seeing your true self fully, because if we could see ourselves fully, we would actually be paralyzed in awe by our own inner sublime greatness.... Firmly believe in that profound beauty, talent and greatness that already exists within YOU..... We have all felt it already at points in our life, when events helped us realize that a huge reservoir of positive energy and happiness is always resident within us, to experience whenever we so desire or need.... Perhaps we sensed a living static in the air before a storm or while the wind blew across the forest, where patterns and sounds spoke to us with a mystical sense of meaning that we could not understand at that point... In spiritual moments we nearly perceive a grand, divine conspiracy of interconnectedness between us and everything around us... Perhaps you have caught a gleam in a stranger's eye — a spark of strange kinship, and though they looked ordinary, you saw their unusual beauty and they experienced your inner beauty born out of your positive spirit..... Maybe in that rare moment, you even considered that such a rare beauty could also be in you. Beauty speaks to us in moments, and then we forget. I wish I could convince you or somehow show you how truly marvelous and beautiful you really are already, but it is actually what you think and realize about yourself that really matters.... But, from time to time, in the moments when you need it most, you will be touched by your own inner reserve of positive energy, and you will remember how beautiful you really are...So constantly believe in yourself, your ability to cope with issues and spread your positive energy into this Universe....

LEARN TO BE HAPPY

Happiness is your prize to lead a fabulous life... after all life often hurts; we become cynical, lacking in self-love and self-confidence... Re-focus...Decide to be grateful for everything in life...I believe we can all LEARN to be happy... You may be asking “isn’t happiness a natural thing; why do we need to learn how to be happy. ..!!! Playing victim is one of the reasons we lose sight of our inner happiness....I learned to be happy through a series of (traumatic) events in my life that changed how I saw myself and the world around me...During this period I learned to love and trust myself, take stock of what I already had and appreciate what others did for me in a way that led to my own inner happiness... Once I decided to learn how, I discovered that with a change in my own mindset, my happiness could be focused on.... Having a mindset of happiness is a decision to look for happiness in every little thing you do or experience.... A mindset of finding ways to be grateful for who you really are, what you already have, and what others do for you. You can learn to find greater happiness in doing things for others, finding pleasure in making others happy... Learn to appreciate other people, nature and, if like me, your faith in God.But whatever your beliefs in faith or science most psychologists would agree that as humans we all need to feel good, in our minds and hearts, about ourselves and the world around us in order to reach our greatest potential...We can all take this journey of transformation, by finding new ways to be grateful every single day...Start making a list every evening of all the things you could or should be grateful for. Write them down, keep a special book to write them in. That way you can remind yourself of all the good things in life, that we often take for granted, or forget...Remember your value to the world.. You can often forget this. You make a difference to your world when you look after: Nature, feelings of People and Animals... When you say a few kind words to another person and you smile or do things for others or show gratitude...You are of value in so many areas of life that the list is endless... When you focus on such things, you learn how to feel good about yourself. You experience an inner happiness. Being happy isn’t about being wealthy, or being famous, it’s about love and value. Feeling happy for others, as well as yourself... Recognising what you can be happy and grateful for...We can all learn to be happy....You just need to decide and  learn the mindset of happiness. Do it daily and make it a habit....It’s a wonderful journey that teaches you to experience happiness always....

THINKING POSITIVE

Thought for this beautiful day... Each one of us goes through times when the going tends to get tough... Thinking positive is a key ingredient that helps in transforming our daily life, making things flow smoothly... A positive attitude helps make life more bright and promising...Positive thinking is also contagious...People around you pick up your positive energy... Thinking about happiness, good health and success within yourself , and you will cause people to like you and desire to help you, because they enjoy the vibrations that a positive mind emits...In order to make positive thinking yield results, you need to develop a positive attitude toward every single event in life and expect a successful outcome of whatever you do...Effective positive thinking that brings results is much more than just repeating a few positive words, or telling yourself that everything is going to be all right...It has to be your predominant mental attitude. It is not enough to think positively for a few moments, and then let fears and lack of belief enter your mind..A lot of inner effort is necessary... Always use only positive words while thinking and conversing.... Use words such as, 'I can', 'I will', 'it is possible', 'it can be done', etc. thought...In your conversation, use words that bring forth feelings and mental images of strength, positive energy, unlimited happiness and success. ..Allow only feelings of happiness, strength and success into your awareness domain..Disregard and ignore negative thoughts...Refuse to allow such thoughts to persist, by substituting them with constructive, happy thoughts..Every time a negative thought finds its way into your mind, immediately replace it with a positive one...Before starting out on your day, visualize clearly in your mind its successful outcome...If you visualize with concentration and faith, you will be amazed at the results...Read at least one page of an inspiring text every day...Watch programmes that make you feel happy...Minimize the time you listen to negative news and read the newspapers..Associate yourself with people who think positively...Always sit and walk with your back straight..This will strengthen your confidence and inner strength.. Engage in refreshing physical activity. This helps to develop a more positive attitude... To you experiencing the happier, healthier and positive YOU

SOURCE OF ALL YOUR BEAUTY ORIGINATES FROM WITHIN YOU

A fantastic Good morning to you... Inspiration for your beautiful TODAY... Each one of us has so much achievement to feel proud and happy about... Unfortunately most of us wake up every morning  thinking of things that drain us of our positive energy...You should actually turn your thoughts every morning into a precious ritual of morning inspiration...Make this space of TIME FOR YOURSELF your own personal space...Choose the morning inspiration mantra that you need the most... You don’t have to say morning mantras out loud for them to work; saying them to yourself in your head is just fine... Try out your new mantra every day for a week, and see if your outlook has changed...The first thing you should focus on is being grateful for all the wonderful things that you have been blessed with...Every morning, list things that you are grateful for... It doesn’t matter if they are the same basic things every day; in fact, it’s a good practice to acknowledge the blessings you might take for granted: good health, a safe place to sleep, soft sheets, breakfast, shoes to wear, a job… etc. Name the things you are thankful for, and close off the list with this mantra: I appreciate the abundance in my life...Secondly, you must boost your own self worth...The divine spark of life resident within you reflects that you are really amazing !! Start thinking of ten things that you like about yourself. Big things (I am smart) to small things (my fingernail polish looks pretty) – count up ten reasons why you love yourself, and keep going, if you can. Visualize a bright white light emanating from within your being and repeat this mantra: I am beautiful, exquisite and I love myself....Thirdly, connect with the universe...Start each day acknowledging living beings who surround you and focusing on their innate beauty...Expand your circle of consciousness till you reach the Universe. Repeat this mantra: I bow to the divine spark in you and in me...Fourthly, we all need encouragement at times....Your finest inspiration comes from within YOU.. It’s always nice to have others to support and motivate you, but if you learn to be your biggest source of inspiration, then you’ll never lack encouragement...Repeat this mantra – in fact, chant it until you feel the inspiration course through your arteries... You can do it...Remember your beautiful life is simply YOURS...Do you feel like you are rushing through life not even seeing the roses, much less smelling them?..Use your first morning minutes to get back in touch with your senses, and rejuvenate yourself to slow down in life...Go through each of your five senses. What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you taste?..What do you feel? And finally, open your eyes. What do you see? Take a deep breath...The bottom line is that YOUR LIFE IS EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL AND THE SOURCE OF ALL THIS BEAUTY COMES FROM WITHIN YOU....

YOUR TIME WILL COME

Your time is certainly destined to come ! Singapore is 3 hrs ahead of Delhi but it doesn't mean that Delhi is slow, or that Singapore is fast..Both are working based on their own "Time Zones".. Some one is still single..Someone got married and 'waited' 10 yrs before having a child, yet there is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.. Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured fantastic employment immediately ! Someone became a CEO at 25 but died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived healthy till his 90th year...Every one lives based on their own 'Time Zone'... Our journeys are indeed unique and absolutely fabulous..People can have things worked out only according to their pace...Work and enjoy your stay every day in your own “time zone”..Your colleagues, friends, younger ones might seem to get ahead of you... Maybe some might even seem behind you...Don't envy them or mock them, it's their 'Time Zone'..You are in yours! Hold on, be strong, and stay true to yourself... All things shall work together for your good...You’re not late … You are not early ... you’re very much on time..Stay blessed always...