In this post today I intend to share some views on why it is important for each one of us to learn to love ourselves unconditionally.... When I penned my thoughts on this topic earlier many questioned me whether this love for oneself wouldn't be considered narcisstic ?....My simple answer is NO... Self love is intended to teach you to love yourself, deeply, just the way you are.... Remember, no one is perfect in this world and irrespective of our flaws, we must love ourselves...The question that comes up often is - Why is it so difficult to love ourselves?.... Many people have asked me similar questions, like, even though we understand the importance of self love, why is it so hard to implement it? How do I implement it...and so on.....Like you, I too found it difficult to put self love into practice, even though the biggest lesson I learned from the tragedies of life is the importance of loving oneself unconditionally. In fact, learning to love and accept myself unconditionally is what healed me and brought me back from the brink of what I thought was an inconceivable event in life... I often harp on this aspect - Love yourself so intensely and without any questions, as if your entire life depends on it, because it really does....!!!!!... It’s one thing to know the importance of loving oneself in theory, but it's quite another thing to effectively put self-love into practice —and the reason I am highlighting this is because most of us come from cultures and societies that do not promote, or even support, self-love, and we often feel judged if we love ourselves, value ourselves, or put ourselves first..... It almost feels as though we live in an upside-down world where we are taught the opposite of what would actually help us in life. I believe that this is the main reason why so many of us are struggling through life—we are conditioned to believe that loving our self is selfish—which is the complete opposite of what would really help us! And when we inadvertently stumble upon the truth of how to live our lives joyfully—which is, to love ourselves unconditionally—we are judged for practicing it!.... In order to dispel the belief that it’s selfish to love ourselves, let’s just look at its opposite: what does it look like if we don’t love or value ourselves? We feel unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable, and the person we become is one who is needy for love from others...Is being needy an attractive trait... ABSOLUTELY NOT...Simply try it and see people running away from you... Can we ever have someone who will love us unconditionally, without conditions, more so if you are needy... I am yet to come across someone like that, but if you have, my blessings that your love remain eternal... Practically, however, everything in life is transitionary and there may come a day when you may be heart broken - with a void that we believe needs to be filled by others because we believe that it’s selfish to fill it ourselves....This is the person I used to be. I was needy—and a people pleaser—because I needed the validation of others in order to feel worthy. I used to give and give of myself, without any thought of fulfilling my own needs, until I became so physically drained...Please remember neediness is actually very unattractive...The cancer of thoughts that I experienced when I lost a person I thought would be for ever, gave me “permission” to validate myself and take care of myself. It gave me permission to say “no” to others, and put myself first. It was only when I was in the coma of an emotional disaster, at the brink of screwing my life for the love of another person did I realize that I don’t need anyone's permission to love myself and take care of myself! It was at that point that I realized that I am worthy and deserving, and amazing and magnificent just because I exist. This is the realization that saved me and transformed me into the person I am today....I then made a commitment to myself that I would never forsake myself, or let myself down ever again. I would always be my own best friend.....I’ve also noticed that when we love ourselves, we grow stronger and more confident... We don’t need the approval of others in order to be who we are. Instead, we are able to bring our fully-realized, joyful self out into the world—someone who others want to be around with - instead of a self that is needy, with a hole that needs to be filled from the outside.....One of the reasons I share my story and what I learned from my experience is because I don’t want others to have to go through what I did, to realize that much of what we are conditioned to believe is the opposite of what truly serves us....But whichever way, I believe that when you begin to love yourself you will experience your own UNIQUE AMAZING SELF filled with true love and positive energy, that you will realize how special you are.... It is this positive energy which I request you to spread into the world around you, to make this beautiful Universe a far better to live in....
